Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Ok, I'm back...I think

I was reading back to a post towards the end of last year where I said that if the only bad thing that happened this year was that my boyfriend (now ex, I think?) weren't together, that I would be just fine.

What the hell was I thinking?

Yes, we had more than our share of problems. Yes, there were trust issues. Yes, there were times when I couldn't even stand to be in the same room with him anymore.

So why do I miss him so much?

I realize that break-ups are never easy. I was expecting that. I was NOT expecting to not even be able to go to the laundromat because it reminds me of him. I was NOT expecting for him to NOW, after all this time, to start saying how much he cares for me. Guilt trip? Or the truth? Beats me, I can't tell anymore.

I have to physically remind myself everyday that we had problems. I realize that it wasn't all him, that being stuck in the house with no money and nothing to do and being in the same room together all the time would drive anyone nuts. It did to me, and now I'm left wondering if I made the biggest mistake of my life.

Then I go back to remembering that we had trust issues, and other problems...

I swear, is there anything like a break-up of a longterm relationship to make you question EVERYTHING that ever happened in it?


2 comments:

Lynne said...

Wendy - Hang in there. It will get better. Been there, done that - even if it was many years ago.

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

Oh girl - I am so sorry. I have been there. Only I kept going back. If you want to read about my story I wrote it in an article at Christian Women Online. (You will find it under guest columnist) My life started when the relationship finally ended.

I just read over your last four posts. It sounds like you NEED to do this girl. You be strong. You do NOT need that crap in your life! You and your children deserve MUCH better. Keep your eyes on the future. Don't give in. Stay away from him. Every relationship has some fond memories. That is why we were there in the first place. But those do NOT mean that you should stay. Be strong girl - this too shall pass.

And thank you for your congrats on my site. Considering the pain you are in today it is so generous of you to share in my joy. thank you!!!

It will get better girl. DO STAY STRONG!!!